Can i interview you for my clog?

I sat down with liz and had her make sandwiches for me the other day and we got down to the nitty gritty about life. Ladies and gentlemen, Liz Hirsch:

Question the first:
Who is Owen Morse?
I guess you're supposed to bake bread crumbs in the oven. You can't pan fry them...
I love Owen Morse. Where is he?

What did you do last night, Liz?
I was with friends hanging out.

Do you ever save text messages?
Yeah i have about 25 that i save.

Do you save the ones from boys?
Yeah sometimes. Do you want to hear my favorite one? I'll be right back (liz walks off to get her phone. She is wearing my steel toed boots, lacy underwear and a baseball t-shirt that says TOFTY) "pay your child support you fucking drunk"

Who do you like more your mom or your dad?
I like when my mom acts like my dad

Who would you rather kill the DS or the Cell?
I'd Rather Have A Phone, Danielle. So i can make a call in an emergency. Or if i want to get a job and i show up and all i have is a nintendo.

How do this text massaging will change the world?
You know i can't remember the last time i've had a text message. Or if i have had one. Something like 10 minutes for a text... But i think people will be happy?

Nice talking with you.

SPECIAL PREMIERE EPISODE!

To inaugurate the launch of Interviewing Blog, we sat down with all-star life interpreter Liz "Man About Town" Hirsch on a recent trans-Pacific flight and got to the bottom of a few things and the top of a few others. Since emerging from her womb of world-wariness in the late 1990s, Liz has been challenging the centrality of the normative in various mediums, with absolutely astonishing results. Join us as we find out more...

IB: So tell us "Liz," where did you grow up?
LH: New Jersey

IB: How was that?
LH: Fine

IB: Hahaha, I can imagine. And what would you say you "do" now?
LH: I make mistakes

IB: So, what do you generally think about when you masturbate?
LH: I just flatter myself shamelessly

IB: If you were transformed into an animal, what kind of animal would you be and why?
LH: Im a bunny already

IB: If you could be instantly relocated to another habitat as that animal (doesn't matter if it's the animal's natural habitat) what habitat would you choose?
LH: I have an important aside ok? One day there were three cages of bunnies. Bunny rabbits. And they fed all the bunny rabbits fatty stuff all day. And then they tested all of their cholesterols and everyone had off the charts cholesterols except the bunnies in the middle. They couldnt figure out why. And then you know what? They watch the lab surveillance tapes and in the middle of the night, the custodian comes in to the lab and he opens the middle cage of bunnies, and he holds them.

IB: That's incredible. So, what or who is the the guiding force in your life?
LH: pathways of communication

IB: Boy, if I had a penny for every time someone said that! No, I'm kidding. But seriously, how is that force incorporated into the way you approach your "art"?
LH: I'm not sure. I was talking with someone the other day. Its very hard to make artwork. Also knowing when to talk and when to shut up is hard and like that for me. Anyway I have not made artwork for about one year or so. Right now my projects are sort of more personal. I like watching how other people just make up their life too. Only artists and criminals make their own lives. Some dude said that I forget who. I think Marshall McLuhan. Ultimately though I am interested in that which we do not only for ourselves.

IB: Why were there two fives?
LH: I don't know but last night this dude fell off of a bar stool and on to me. It was f'd up and my foot hurts. If I see him again im going to really give it to him. He had on a white tshirt. If you see him give it to him too ok plz.

IB: When you were a child, were there any animated characters you found yourself sexually attracted to?
LH: Really? I dont know. I guess Doug Funnie.

IB: Remember that time we went to Bagelsmith at 4 in the morning? Who do you think came up with the name of that place?
LH: A craftsperson of delicious times.

IB: How and where do you ideally picture yourself in 10 years?
LH: I ju$t want to see my friends. I <3>IB: What do you think will happen to the whales? Yeah, whales in general.
LH: Did you hear they used to be regular type land people. Having walking around on land times. Anyway whats with you? Hippie.
IB: Yes! Actually dolphins and toothed whales share a common ancestor with wolves, and baleen whales share a common ancestor with cows. They basically both just hung out by the water too much for a few million years.

IB: So, do you believe if a person and a woman are having sex and the person climaxes, the person is obligated to continue pleasuring the woman until she comes?
LH: No.

IB: Consult your gut on this one: Who's gonna win the election?
LH: Hats McGee

IB: If you were to give your 11th grade science teacher three albums, what would they be and why?
LH: I grow weary of questions.
IB: We try.
LH: I don't know I guess Tha Carter I, II & III. Best rapper alive. I cant even remember my science teacher's name. I think there were two.

IB: If you could live the rest of your life in a tree house with anyone, living or dead, real or fictitious, straight or gay, who it would it be?
LH: Noel Fielding

IB: Which one of you would forage for berries and nuts and which one would tend the tree hearth and keep an eye out for poachers?
LH: We would both just try on clothes and be foxes

IB: Can you leave us with a final word?
LH: I'm afraid